FOMO

There are many acronyms I’ve grown used to over the years, like ASAP (as soon as possible), BOGO (buy one, get one), and one that’s in the news almost daily, NATO (North Atlantic Treaty Organization). A more recent one from social media is FOMO (fear of missing out), and is commonly felt among seniors, especially those struggling with retirement.

According to Carolyn Thiedke, Special to The Post and Courier, “FOMO can take the form of anxiety, regret, envy or sadness that things aren’t turning out the way we thought. FOMO initially described younger people who constantly check their phones to see what their friends are doing, but I think it’s fair to use it with senior adults.”

I know from personal experience that FOMO can lead to loneliness. Entertained, it can negatively impact my mood and sense of satisfaction with my life. Worst of all it threatens to affect my self-esteem. No longer involved in a busy work life, as a retiree it’s easy to feel that I’m no longer as valuable as I once was, to feel slightly diminished.

Consequently, when FOMO hits, I choose instead to “focus on my options.” Life has always had activities swirling around me that I’m not part of –it’s just the extra time on my hands that tends to make me feel left out. And living alone can accentuate these feelings unless I make a conscious effort to turn my attention to the positive aspects of my life. To pick options immediately available to me such as going on a favorite walk or watching one of many interesting programs/documentaries available on tv or Netflix. I get to decide my mental direction: inward absorption vs. outward engagement.

Fortunately, I am included in many family activities. Tomorrow my son’s youngest son turns 16 and the whole family has generously been invited to join him in attending a Giants game in San Francisco. The nine of us who can make it, including me (Grams), will join other cheering fans on a promisingly glorious day in the Bay with breathtaking views.

For me, being with family is the best antidote for FOMO. The world can go on by and I feel no regret or sense of loss. I can choose to become more entangled or opt to remain peacefully detached. My decisions are fluid; it depends on what feels important to me on a given day. That’s the beauty of retirement. I have the “freedom of managing opportunities.”

Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life. ~Albert Einstein.