Anchors in the Wind

Amid all the instability caused by the disheartening Russian invasion of Ukraine, an ongoing pandemic, and escalating climate emergencies including the unprecedented melting of polar sea ice, I often awake feeling unsettled. However, as the day progresses so do my emotions. Routines become little anchors in the wind securing me to gratitude and hope.

I’ve returned to my routine, early morning exercise classes where I’m warmly greeted by name, where purposeful movement and rhythmic music cause my heart rate to rise in a release of unspoken sadness. By the time I’m on the freeway heading home my breathing is steady and joy is rising in my soul. For me joy is a stronghold against wrongdoing, a sanctuary in which to contemplate alternatives. It widens inner pathways and encourages tenacity of spirit. My resolve to remain hopeful is fueled by joy.

A little over a week ago, my daughter and her husband traveled to New York City for a few days to enjoy the St. Patrick’s Day parade and to revisit favorite sites and memories. Their boys, ages 14 and 10-turning-11-in-6-days, stayed with me. Up early to go to school they returned each afternoon to do homework and spend time with Grams. Inevitable boy-droppings everywhere, they messed up my home and delighted my heart. Just knowing they were asleep under my roof allowed me to awake each morning at peace, rested and happy.

Upon their parents' return, on Sunday most of the family gathered at Riverfront Park to celebrate my youngest grandson’s birthday. They played volleyball under towering redwood trees, laughed and exchanged good-natured banter while I sat nearby in a lawn chair with a blanket over my knees. No one kept score; everyone applauded when the ball successfully sailed over the net (me ducking occasionally at a failed attempt). After lunch and presents the four boys played around with a soccer ball and frisbee while the adults exchanged plans and ideas on their upcoming trips to Europe. Time felt suspended, normal even.

Back home in my now quiet surroundings I left the front door open to catch the remaining fresh air warmed by afternoon sun. I could hear life happening in my neighborhood –a weedwhacker a few houses down, backyard doings next door, occasional traffic on the main street in front of our private driveway– and felt safe in my little, ordinary life.

I realize that though there is so much darkness in our world today, there is also undiminished light everywhere. For me that light shines brightest through people, people we love who love us, people who bravely fight for freedom against unjust aggression, people who commit their energy, voices, and means to align with those who are vulnerable, attacked, surrounded by enemies, physically and emotionally. For that reason, my hope endures.

When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it…always. ~Mahatma Gandhi

Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. ~Desmond Tutu