Blue and Gold

The past few days as I’ve been contemplating what to write in my next blog there has been a growing tension between my mind and heart. Always wanting to be encouraging, my heart prompts me to seek to write optimistically as I make this journey called retirement. Yet once again our world is in crisis, and my mind struggles to process the juxtaposition between my little life and people experiencing the catastrophic Russian invasion of Ukraine.

Last weekend I was feeling lazy, still in my pajamas, when my youngest grandson called asking if I was already on my walk. Finding out I wasn’t he asked if he could join me. Delighted, I said I’d be ready by the time he arrived. No sooner had we hung up than my daughter-in-law called to ask if I’d like company on my morning walk. Telling her about my grandson's imminent arrival, she asked if we could wait the half hour it would take her and my son to join us.

What an unexpected treat! The four of us took one of my favorite backstreet walks to the Badger Park Access trail to the park itself. Veering to the right along the river we eventually made our way to a beach where my daughter-in-law, son, and grandson skipped the flattest stones they could find across shallow currents. They ended up wading across to the other side while I sat contentedly on sand and rocks, my heart swelling with delight.

Meanwhile, even as I sat happily in the sun, families in Ukraine were suffering an unprovoked attack, being separated, bombed, injured, or killed trying to defend their right to live in a young democracy. If I lived there instead of California, my own son, his oldest son, and my son-in-law would be required to fight against a ruthless army willing to commit war crimes. The rest of the us might be trying to hide in a makeshift bomb shelter or standing in freezing temperatures to board impossibly crowded trains or joining other women and children fleeing on foot for hours through falling snow to seek asylum in a neighboring country.

I’d been conflicted, wanting to write about my lovely river walk yet unable to ignore the heartbreaking atrocities happening in eastern Europe. I use Wix to write my blogs. On Thursday morning the Wix Owner App icon on my iPhone appeared with a banner across the lower right corner displaying the blue and gold colors of the Ukrainian flag. It made things simple for me. I would write about both my happiness around an impromptu family river walk and my ongoing heartsickness about so many distant families who face a devastatingly unknown future.