Making Friends with My Older Self

Now that I’m retired, I’ve eased into an amicable relationship with my growing-older self. I accept not having the balance I had during my younger years; I’ve learned to slow my pace when going downstairs. I’m comfortable in softly wrinkled skin and an increasing number of little brown freckles. My hair, still basically light brown, is more highlighted by silvery accents around my temples. But, looking in the mirror I still see me.

The verdict is in –I must undergo left hip replacement surgery. After the initial shock of realizing the procedure is unavoidable, I started making friends with my future self. I see myself steady on my feet again, able to easily navigate stairs, taking long walks including pain-free treks to the river and back with my energetic, young grandsons. It’s all good.

Meanwhile, since I currently am somewhat limited physically, I’ve joined an online class on charcoal drawing. Once a week for 3 hours on Wednesday mornings I am learning about techniques, textures, and tonal values of this versatile medium popular since the Renaissance. We post our sketches on a private Facebook page where we can comment and offer one another encouragement. Our instructor makes sure we all feel confident putting forth our efforts by reminding us that there is no such thing as perfection. She encourages us to embrace truths that hold solid for all of life.

Practice makes progress.

Consistency is more important than perfection.

Drawing with charcoal reminds me a little of my growing-older self. It’s important to know where your light source is coming from. Perspectives can change by sitting or standing. The amount of pressure applied when penciling determines how dark your image becomes. And, oh yes, the process can be messy, but the outcome is increasingly satisfying. As I mentioned before, it’s all good.