The Gift of Silence

My childhood was filled with silence. I remember being alone much of the time. Other people’s voices were mostly not present as I looked out upon the world with limited understanding. Consequently, I was often suspended between wonderment and loneliness as I traversed the trajectory of innocence into adulthood. Unfortunately, it left me painfully ill-equipped to decipher personal relationships, and it took decades for me to achieve a balanced life. On the other hand, I was anchored solidly in the embrace of earth’s unendingly exquisite revelations.

Now I choose silence as a way of cultivating awareness and focusing on the present moment. Some refer to this as silent meditation, as its name suggests. Buddhists have practiced this type of meditation, also called unguided meditation, for more than 2,500 years. Interestingly, I have discovered a similar sweet spot when I pick up a charcoal pencil and begin to draw.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m taking an online beginning charcoal drawing class. Our instructor continues to nudge us not to draw what we think we should see, but simply what we, in fact, see. She tells us to try turning our drawings upside down, if need be, to help us disengage our brains. To silence an often-overriding preconceived mental picture. It’s a discipline requiring awareness and focus and when I’m drawing, I become peacefully lost in the process.

Above is a charcoal drawing I did today of my kitty, CiCi, who passed away a few years ago. (I wrote a book, available on Amazon, titled “It Takes A Cat” under my pen name EsthersChild featuring her. She was a rescue from We Care in St. Helena.) Soon after getting a basic outline drawn, I slipped into a delicious state of wordless silence. And, yes, at one point I turned the drawing upside down. I also walked away from it for a while, then returned with fresh eyes to finish it, knowing I captured her image because it made me smile.

Silence says a lot more than you think. ~Author Unknown